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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?